Mr Ben

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Posts by Mr Ben

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  23

  I'm new here

  by konkreetgurl in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey everybody, i'm a christian, but i'm not a jehovah's witness and i recently made friends with one, i know little to nothing about this religion and i would like to know more, can anyone help me out by way of how it is different from say, an evangelical free christian church?

  and what sort of theology and doctrine jw's go by and such, i'd really appreciate it, thank you

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  Mr Ben

  konkreetgurl,

  The JW's are not a religion but a dangerous cult. Be very wary. See the following:

  http://watchtower.observer.org

  http://www.freeminds.org

  http://www.geocities.com/osarsif/index2.htm

  Religion n.
  An organisation designed to promote atheism.
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  30

  Jesus died on a stake or a cross?

  by 2SYN in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  this is something i've been puzzling over recently.

  just for argument's sake, let's say that jesus did exist - was he murdered on a stake or on a cross?

  this is puzzling me, because the only real research i've ever read on the subject was in wtbts publications, and since this is obviously a highly questionable source of documentation, i'd love it if someone here could point me to a scientific resource for finding out the truth about this...thx.... the earlier in the forenoon you take the sun bath, the greater will be the beneficial effect, because you get more of the ultra-violet rays, which are healing.

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  Mr Ben

  1. Roman historians mention a cross as the form of execution, acknowleged by the WT - I'll find the reference if you really need it.

  2. A broken prisoner could not carry a full upright pole ( a permanent structure) as it was too heavy, only the crossbeam.

  3. Emperor Constantine repealed crucifixion as a form of capital punishment as it was offensive to Christians - and you cant repeal something unless it exists first.

  4. The bible clearly states that the message about Jesus being king of the Jews was placed above his head (not his hands, which would have been the case had his hands been over his head).

  5. The bible says they saw the imprint of the nails (not nail) in the resurrected Jesus' hands (not hand).

  Religion n.
  An organisation designed to promote atheism.
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  12

  Make your predictions here.What will happen...

  by sleepy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  make your prediction here.. so what do you think will happen to the society in the next ten years.. theres a big prize waiting here for anyone who gets it right.

  a gaint chocolate cake!

  which can only be eaten in ten years time.. so i make my prediction first.. 1.the society will have had a major doctrine change as to 1914 and 144,000.. 2.most will leave the org due to disillusionment.. 3.there will be a breakaway group of more fanatical witness they will be the orthodox witnesses.. there will also be a group of the liberal witnesses but will not last as long while the other group will grow.. do i win the cake?

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  Mr Ben

  Questions from Readers. WT 01/01/2010
  Whilst we have in the best interests of pure worship advocated the biblical principle of abstinence for all things unclean, some have asked whether the abstinence from some blood fractions with other fractions being a conscience issue should not also apply to black pudding.

  Now, it is clear that whilst we must never want to "partakers at the table of demons", at the same time spiritual maturity and balance is needed. In light of Jesus' commandment not be straining out the gnat, it would be clearly impractical to try and remove only the objectionable components. Nevertheless, we would still want to show our irrational fear of this product by eating it only under special circumstances:

  First, we should, in honour of our Lord, never eat it on a Friday.

  Second, whilst we cannot extract the [currently] objectionable fractions, we could do this symbolically by slicing it extremely thinly. We suggest that slices should be from 1mm thick, but no more than 5mm, and certainly not a cm or more as they are given to do in the world. Elders of the flock should be consulted by spiritual housewives as to the correct thickness of the sausage slice, and the Faithful Slave are making the loving provision of the blood-sausage slice-measurer to all elders and ministerial servants. Please see the congregation secretary and ask for form 0176589-2786654-985554b.

  Thirdly, it would be inappropriate to consume this most sacred sausage, which reminds us of our Lord’s sacrifice, in the same physical position as our Lord was Crucified. (Yes, apostates had wanted us not to progress in the ever increasing light of Truth by not rejecting that old light about a “torture stake”, but faithful ones had not wavered so close to the end!) We therefore would never eat the sacred slice whilst undergoing crucifiction of any kind, nor indeed whilst undergoing any form of persecution, or indeed pain, including migranes, but excluding ordinary headaches, unless it had begun before 9.30 am (excluding Fridays) and had lasted – without interruption – for at least seven, erm… no, nine hours. If you are not sure please complete form 1787653-6334578-8976628a for more information.

  Lastly dear brothers, whilst we are to let “no man become the master of our faith”, let us remember our new closing Prayer…

  Our Fathers who art in Brooklyn,
  Hallowed be thy nameless’
  Let Your Kingdom Come
  Lets not beat around the bush,
  Is it coming or not?
  Oh please, oh go on, let it come,
  I’m tired and me feet hurt.

  Our Men

  Religion n.
  An organisation designed to promote atheism.
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  23

  Did adam have nipples or a belly button?

  by edster in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  can some one please tell me.

  do men have one less rib bone than women?

  why?

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  Mr Ben

  Yadirf said,

  No, men don't have less ribs than women because our mates have belly buttons. Get it?

  Pure religious logic at work.

  Religion n.
  An organisation designed to promote atheism.
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  70

  Religiously inclined are Mentally Ill

  by gravedancer in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i raised this briefly in chat earlier today and i expect a similar response to this thread.. my opinion is that if you are religious/spiritual then you are mentally ill.

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  Mr Ben

  When I was back home in The Land of The Blind, some crazy nutcase reckoned he could "see" colours & shapes & other delusional stuff. Anyway, after the eye surgery he was ok again.

  Our scientists proved that the ailment was due to an unusual retinal gel that is not present in normal people. It is a pretty simple proceedure to correct, but it can scar the afflicted person psycologically for life.

  Poor sods.

  Dr Ben

  Religion n.
  An organisation designed to promote atheism.
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  7

  Another fanatical Moslem attack!

  by Mr Ben in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just heard on the radio at work that moslem religious extremists have attacked a train carrying hindus.

  some of the dead are children.. intolerance - religion - intolerance - religion -.

  religion n.. an organisation designed to promote atheism.

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  Mr Ben

  Just heard on the radio at work that Moslem religious extremists have attacked a train carrying Hindus. Some of the dead are children.

  Intolerance - religion - intolerance - religion -

  Religion n.
  An organisation designed to promote atheism.
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  28

  Did anyone notice I'd gone?

  by Sirona in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  did any1 notice i'd gone?

  i was recently diagnosed with skin cancer and due to treatments etc.

  i havent been able to post.

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  Mr Ben

  Holy cow!

  Very sorry to hear that Sirona.

  Best wishes,
  Mr Ben

  Religion n.
  An organisation designed to promote atheism.
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  17

  Dad & Pink Floyd

  by peaceloveharmony in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my dad is in his early fifties.

  he has always been a lover of music.

  last year he gave me his guitar, the one i remember him always playing when he was home, except of course during dinner hehe.

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  Mr Ben

  The Wall used to make my brain go funny...

  Wish You Were Here is probably one of the most wonderful albums (Hmm CD's, showing my age there!) ever made.

  There is always hope for lovers of Floyd

  Religion n.
  An organisation designed to promote atheism.
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  37

  Prayer, Pascal, and the Anthropic Principle

  by JosephAlward in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  the anthropic principle .

  it's true that life as it exists on earth, and the behavior of the universe as a whole, is finely tuned.

  these constants, most physicists believe, were introduced at the time of the big bang, when the universe seems to have been created, or at least, to have begun again another cycle of creation.

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  Mr Ben

  I am the true God.

  I am invisible and can only be spoken to through my official channel –the internet. As I am invisible, the proof that I exist is that you have never seen me. Well, have you ever seen me? No? Incontrovertible proof!

  PS: I zapped Pascal for his error.

  Ik Ben Ben.

  Religion n.
  An organisation designed to promote atheism.
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  67

  Bible Error: The Visit to the Tomb

  by JosephAlward in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  the following two accounts of the morning visit by the women to anoint jesus body are contradictory.

  according to mark, the women wondered how they would remove the stone covering the tomb, but they found that it had already been rolled away.

  matthew, however, says that when the women went to the tomb, there was an earthquake, and an angel came down from heaven, went to the tomb, and rolled the stone back.

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  Mr Ben

  Abbadon & Joseph,

  Let me enlighten you as to all of the supposed “inconsistencies” and “contradictions” in the Holy Bable.

  Larsguy has given you the key to understanding, if only you would unlock the door of ignorance with it and enter the brave new world of FAITH. Clearly, all “inconsistencies” and “contradictions” can be explained by the FACT that whenever the Holy Bable gives an apparent “contradiction” it is talking about two different events that just happen to have the similar characters and events, but in different dimensions of the universe!

  Hence, one account about what Mary said is perfectly true and really did happen – in one particular dimension, then the Holy Babel gives another different but perfectly true account of the same events in a different dimension.

  Far from being a cause for stumbling, this only serves to bring praise to the great Creator who can see and save all peoples in all dimensions!

  PRAISE BE TO THE MOST HIGH!

  Pastor Ben

  Religion n.
  An organisation designed to promote atheism.